The new brief was set by Shane R J Walter from One Dot Zero. Essentially, it’s about self representation, how we present to the others, what we want to present and what we don’t. How much we want to them to see or not? Where?
“What you see is what you get”
‘Selfies’ was a reference for the brief – in today’s culture we present ourselves as we want them to be seen. Photography was perceived as something true, but nowadays is not that trustworthy in my opinion.
So the brief in it’s official form was:
“Who do you want to be? (and who are you?)
From the first moment I got the brief I wanted to show a self-portrait, whatever that could be – perform my own self-portrait, in a way. So, I was thinking of really random and spontaneous stuff I do which I can’t really explain – like the other time when I was getting out of the class and came across with a really long staircase and I threw the bottle I was holding, just to see if I can reach the end of the staircase.
But how can I visualise spontaneity? How to plan something unplanned and random? How am I going to record it? Am I going to show it too fix? Frame it in a way that we really understand the act?
My outcome this week is again disappointing and nonsense as doesn’t say anything in particular – it’s just me going mad and throwing bottles (!). Here are the videos:
I feel I haven’t been critical enough about this (obviously) and I think that’s my main problem – I need to be aware of what I’m doing, ask questions and take the idea one step further.
When they asked me at the crit why I did it and what I’m trying to say I was struggling to find a reason and the only thing I said is that I repeated the act so I can understand the act, or make others understand it. But.. fail.
I actually had a second idea, which didn’t work well either. My idea was to have a performance which would lie between fiction and reality
The idea was to have a screen – a sheet of tracing paper, that is – on which I would project my self on it, which myself would be behind the screen and the audience would be in front of the screen. I wanted to play between fiction and reality so I wanted to have a camera/webcam/laptop camera filming me and projecting it on the screen at real time and film that was recorded a bit earlier. So it would swap between real-time video and recorded video with me doing the same thing the whole time, without the audience realising which one is real and what is not. Basically it’s like a projection of the projection etc. I know, you don’t get it, it gets so confusing that I’m lost too. Also, I worked from a quote which was “We assume that the self is an actual living thing, but it’s not. It’s a projection which our clever brains create in order to cheat ourselves from the reality of death” by Thandie Newton on TED.
My feedback was that working from a quote is limiting me and also the idea of playing with fiction and reality and projections is a familiar theme since the television was invented – I should find a more challenging way of presenting this.
Regarding the videos with the bottles I should challenge it more as well. Do I see this as a performance? What do I want people to understand from this? Is the next step to disrupt this act? By, maybe, dropping one bottle at a time since the whole place is filled with bottles?
For the time being, this is a project not well articulated which I hope I will revisit at some point later .. (?)